Nothing new to report

So nothing new on the DOJ front and I have come to realize that I lead a pretty boring life, or perhaps it's a pretty busy life, either way I have struggled this past week to come up with new content for the blog. Of course, this could be due to my editor as well. My significant other is not too keen with the idea of me maintaining this blog. Very few people know about our misfortune and there is some concern that our friends or family may find out. That's right, not even our families know, kind of sad really. Even though we recognize that we are the victims here, it is very humbling to admit that we lost a significant amount of our savings to this scam. We consider ourselves to be educated and I suppose it is due to our own arrogance that we never thought we could be defrauded as easily as we were. But here we are...

I try not to think about it now, life goes on. It hurts the most when you consider the value of the loss in context. For example, a simple thing like listening to the local radio station offering a contest where the top prize is $5000 cash. Pretty exciting stuff to the caller when he/she is given the opportunity to compete. Even more exciting when they win! It pains me to know that I could have funded 40 such contests and have the same to show as I do today...except with possibly 40 more friends than I currently have.

Or when, I am flipping through the weekly Best Buy ad and I consider the plasma TV selling for $2000. It wasn't so long ago that I remember telling myself that such a purchase was unnecessarily extravagant and that I should wait until the prices come down. Hell, for the same amount I lost I could have bought one for each family on my block.

It's these kind of details that pain me, make me suffer. 99% of my waking day is pretty much fine now; however that 1%, it rips like a dagger. Shredding and tearing at my insides. I keep these thoughts to myself. I don't share them with my wife as I like to believe that our daily time slots for misery are misaligned, which means that there is always one of us available for sane conversation or concentrating on the parenting duties (gotta keep the kids alive).

I know she hurts... a lot...but she's a trooper. She puts on a brave face, smiles and laughs and looks as beautiful as ever, but her heart aches as mine. Her empty stares expose the pain as her thoughts concentrate on our misfortune. My hugs do little to console her during these times, nevertheless she still receives them warmly.

Our family is stronger now. We have survived heartache before and we can survive this, of this I have no doubt. Still, the entire situation sucks and I feel for everyone living it...not very elegant I realize, but quite accurate nonetheless.

TFI